Hot Hayden Panettiere’s New Boyfriend Seems Nice

Apparently reports of Hayden Panettiere dating Marc Sanchez of the New York Jets were only slightly wrong because it turns out she’s actually dating his childhood friend, and now teammate, Scotty McKnight. So of course it wasn’t long until this May article from the New York Post turned up:

McKnight, a former Colorado receiver and boyhood friend of Mark Sanchez, nearly got himself expelled during his senior year of high school in 2005 for penning some threatening words directed at his Tesoro (Calif.) High School English teacher in a journal that was supposed to be private, but became public.
One of the entries McKnight and Tesoro teammate Sam Smith wrote referred to gluing the teacher naked to a wall, cutting off her feet and killing her family while she watches, according to court documents.
“I am planning on coming in your room late one night while you’re still working,” read one partial entry. “I will smother you in gasoline and light your head on fire … “

Haha! Kids. McKnight has since described the incident as a childhood prank:

“It was an error in judgment that led to a huge consequence,” McKnight told The Post. “I was 17 years old and had a class assignment to do some creative writing and the teacher told us for the first five minutes of class to write whatever you want, be creative and that no one was going ever to read it.
“Me and a buddy wrote some crazy stuff, [Quentin] Tarantino-like movie type stuff and were trying to one-up each other, figuring no one was ever going to read it. It was a lack of judgment for sure, but we were 17 years old and not thinking — clearly.”

While that sounds well and good, keep in mind McKnight’s best friend Mark Sanchez faced charges of sexual assault in college, so I can’t help but think these two made a secret pact to infiltrate the NFL and amass as much money as possible to build their own Rape Island. Granted, David Copperfield did it first, but does his have a rollercoaster and a tapas bar? Conjure that, wizard!